Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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