Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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