I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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