that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize