At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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