yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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