is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize