the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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