i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
