i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
