How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
