dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
