We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
