Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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