I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
