"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
where are my eyebrows?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
