If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
