strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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