so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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