is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
i think i just lost a toe
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
