what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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