Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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