guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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