you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
birth control should be required to get into college
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
