You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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