well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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