Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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