I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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