For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
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i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
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It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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