No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
