Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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