why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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