Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
