my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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