I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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