I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
