And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
