You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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