I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I faked an abortion last night.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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