I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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