This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Randomize
