I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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