I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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