dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
