They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
