Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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