I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
