Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
