We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
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I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
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Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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