everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
