i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
