Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame

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  (732): my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame http://tfl.nu/4c25
  Replies (16) Good night (662) Bad night (1739)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I looked at my own cervix.

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  (713): I looked at my own cervix. http://tfl.nu/c8go
  Replies (24) Good night (966) Bad night (2862)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.

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  (732): I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home. http://tfl.nu/01mk
  Replies (9) Good night (816) Bad night (3937)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon

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  (717): and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon http://tfl.nu/u9ei
  Replies (70) Good night (1118) Bad night (3539)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.

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  (419): The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday. http://tfl.nu/0i2s
  Replies (25) Good night (4560) Bad night (1457)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.

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  (912): I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days. http://tfl.nu/3yem
  Replies (18) Good night (7410) Bad night (1375)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him

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  (785): Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him http://tfl.nu/x0sm
  Replies (31) Good night (1626) Bad night (6464)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

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  (734): I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. http://tfl.nu/46aj
  Replies (5) Good night (1981) Bad night (1159)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.

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  (732): He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs. http://tfl.nu/h7d3
  Replies (12) Good night (3738) Bad night (1150)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.

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  (304): as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now. http://tfl.nu/olha
  Replies (8) Good night (3587) Bad night (1346)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.

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  (519): Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay. http://tfl.nu/0328
  Replies (6) Good night (1298) Bad night (1388)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.

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  (609): The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit. http://tfl.nu/al9k
  Replies (6) Good night (501) Bad night (1299)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.

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  (617): We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over. http://tfl.nu/57ta
  Replies (0) Good night (785) Bad night (336)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.

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  (317): I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%. http://tfl.nu/pc4l
  Replies (1) Good night (551) Bad night (229)
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  (408): View more from California

  I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.

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  (408): I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories. http://tfl.nu/8r9f
  Replies (1) Good night (219) Bad night (79)

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