Your face is a jimmy john
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.