good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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