He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
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no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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