spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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