i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
