i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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