Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
