So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
