Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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