Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
