who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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