If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
